Slot 2: Weapons

These rules control your ability to control the population. This might be by spawning new and interesting weapons, or it might be by transforming you into something bigger, harder, faster and stronger.

Retro Rockets

Wolfenstein 3D weapons spawn

Shameless pandering to nerdstalgia is awful and one of the reasons internet culture is so terrible, but since this is a mod for a twenty year old videogame, we don't really have much of a choice but to wallow in our own metaphorical filth for a bit. Here's all the weapons from Wolfenstein 3D.

My Tank Is Fight

Morph into a Tank

Sometimes, stealth and caution is the right way to take care of a situation. This is not one of this times: This rule plops you in the drivers seat of a big horkin' tank for the round. While in the tank, you are invulnerable and have access to both the main cannon and a supporting machinegun, as well as your cruel unforgiving treads. Blast and crush your way to points! It's the American Dream in ripfest mod format.

Porkchop Sandwiches!

Fire-themed weapons spawn

Wash away your foes with these weapons and begin anew by throwing them into the cleansing fire. Okay, less cleansing and more violent and scream-y, but really, it's fire. Actually, you know what? This analogy does not work at all, because fire is horrible and burning flesh smells nasty.


Heretic and Hexen weapons spawn

To use these weapons, you're gonna have to find three switches hidden across five maps.

Crate Shower

Piles of Mystery Boxes spawn

What's in the box? Whaaaat's in the boooox? Mysterious crates start popping into existence, and you'll never be able to figure out what's inside each one unless you shoot it open (or pay $3.00 for a key, but where's the fun in that?) It could be a powerful weapon! It could be a brick! It could be a live hand grenade, so keep your damn distance!


Plasma and energy weapons spawn

Ever since God's unsuccessful hit-and-run on Benjamin Franklin, mankind has been fascinated by electricity. Today they have finally harnessed that power to build civilizations and also kill those same civilizations, often at the same time. Forget power grids and computers: our greatest achievement is plasma and lightning that melts faces.

This is My Boomstick!

Shotgun weapons spawn

Includes the shotguns from Doom 1 and Doom 2. Wait, that's it? God, how lazy are these guys? Ooh! Shotguns! That's interesting! Whoa, don't wanna sprain a brain muscle there, genius! Holy crap, it's probably a damn good thing you didn't pay money for this mod, because you likely have rights to demand a refund now.


Explosive weapons spawn

BLAABABGHGBALGLAL! BALAARGHBLALGLBUUGHHBLARGHH!! KABLOOOURGGAALBALMLMBOOM!!! BRPAPAAPABMABPLARGMABB!! Ahem, yes. All the weapons in this reel are highly explosive. You probably shouldn't use them in tight spaces, but you might not have a choice so, you know, go ahead. Knock yourself out.

Melee Masters

Melee weapons spawn

Consider that only 500 years ago, battles were fought primarily with swords and shields. We've made great progress in warfare with our metal-hurling death sticks, but the world of hand-to-hand combat has remained a little unmodern. Guess we'll have to do things the way they did it in Levittown: beating undesirables to death with baseball bats and broken bottles, and the occasional industrial mining drill.


No weapons or ammo spawn

Nnnnnothin'! Bone dry nothin'! We're cutting you off for the round! No weapon spawns, no ammo drops, you'll just have to make do with what you have. Be thankful, though: This will NEVER show up on the first round of a game, so you'll at least have some time to develop an arsenal to carry you through.

Blue Magic

Monster's weapons spawn

The bylaws of the Technicolor League of Wizards strictly stipulate that, just as black magic causes damage and white magic heals, blue magic is stolen from fallen enemies. This reel gives you memorable weapons from your opponents, including Jetpack Larry's lag-inducing gun. Be glad you didn't end up with one of the lamer colors, like green magic (forestry), taupe magic (control of non-elemental sheep), or purple magic (velvetmancery).

Bullet Hoses

Rapid-fire weapons spawn

Some people buy sports cars. Some people amass bank accounts that dwarf chunks of Africa. And some people just spin their personality into an unlikable cartoon of themselves. Penis size compensation comes (heh) in all shapes and forms. In this case, it comes in the form of a horkin' big aircraft minigun that can spew out more rounds per minute than you'll ever own.

For, uh, home defense, of course.

Dog Mode

Morph into a Demi-Dog

Behold the Canis Extrema, the shapeshifting man-dog that destroys acres at a time with supersonic barkblasts. Largely unstoppable, the man-dog is a mass of untamed id that can pursue the deepest urges of all dogs, like chasing cars or pooping on the President's lawn.


HACX 2.0 weapons spawn

HACX was one of the more ambitious mods of Doom's heyday, a retail total conversion with a strange cyberpunk theme. A squad of admirers have been cleaning it up a bit for the modern age, and they've been so kind as to kick us the arsenal from it with a wink and a nod.

Sector Effectors

Duke Nukem 3D weapons spawn

Return back to the glory days before 3D Realms finalized their butterfly-like transformation into Ion Storm with this suite of powerful and occasionally exotic weaponry. Just bring your favorite stolen gravel-toned one-liners, and this reel'll take care of the rest in typically stylish fashion.


Unpredictable weapons spawn

Jeff Goldblum's character in Jurassic Park famously put water droplets on his hand to demonstrate chaos theory. These are the Jeff Goldblum's hand of weapons. Grumble as your gun abruptly stops firing! Watch your zig-zagging shots cause enemies to mutate instead of dying! Sigh with resignation as your rockets spiral in random directions! Anything can happen – and will.

Has-Beens and Never-Weres

Bootleg and prototype weapons spawn

Deep in a Shenzhen warehouse, next to a few blood-stained palletes of knockoff iPhones, we recently found several caches of weapons. Some seem to come from an era before time and entirely legitimate engine licensing, while others seem to be from the cutting room floor of more familiar projects. We... think they might still work? No guarantees or refunds.

Bomber, Man

Explosive inventory items spawn

Since the stone age, mankind has innovated in the art of throwing things at other things. Rocks, darts, baseballs, crude language, high explosives and so on. It's that last one which this reel focuses on, providing you with an arsenal of off-hand inventory weapons with which to control crowds.

Mod developed by 300 Pounds. All materials used are the copyright of their respective owners. Dance 'til the cops come.